Karol's story- staying on the streets to escape domestic abuse

Karol growing up was made stable by her grandparents, these were her secure base. This was because her mother was unreliable and did not have the capacity to care for Karol and give her the emotional warmth she needed.

Karol met the father of her son when she was in her teenage years. Her partner used drinks and drugs which got worse over time. This impacted on their relationship with him. She says ‘as they got older, she did not want to drink or use drugs. Karol was being abused emotionally, physically and sexually over the 10 years they were together.

After she left this relationship, she had to work up to three jobs looking after their son on her own.

Karol’s son’s mental health declined when he was 16. As a result of this she struggled with services to get the right support for her son. His mental health declined further in which she spent a further 18 years managing her son’s declining mental health. This resulted in her having their house destroyed with her son’s anger and living with him. Karol states she ‘lived in trauma, not knowing what would happen next’. She was walking on eggshells all the time.

In the end, it became overwhelming and she wanted to flee from it all. Karol abandoned the property and her son finally was admitted to a care home where he could receive specialist support.

During this period of time K was living in the west of England living in a tent, sleeping under flyovers, tunnels, car parks, canal sides. K states it was ‘frightening, you have to hide especially as women, you cover yourself up and layer yourself up to keep yourself clean and warm’.

Karol has a severe skin decision; she had to use public laboratories to use wet wipes and toilet paper to keep herself clean. She has used cafés, libraries or even bushes to keep clean.

‘The more private the better to keep clean’. She states she has kept clean in bushes. Karol explained there are times when she has needed to use the toilet and has had to defecate in bag to expose of it. She has always had to be aware of her own safety when doing this.

In asking Karol about safety she stated that she found men and women wanting me and will not take no for an answer. They seem to think if you are homeless and have nothing they think they have the right to take you and you have to do as they say, if you say no, they do, they do not like it, and could get violent.

There one occasion a man threatened to burn her tent because she said no. On the streets other people would rob her money and take my possessions. They would take my tent. She ended up in the bushes because it was much safer and warmer.

Karol found it hard to receive help from the police as they would make a judgement that I was a sex worker or a drug user and dismiss her needs.

"I did not want to be seen as vulnerable and needy because this is what would make me vulnerable to being exploited. I was approached by men to for sexual gratification. This made me feel extremely unsafe. Men do not like it when I say no. They think because I am homeless, they think they can take advantage of me."

Some outreach staff from Julian House connected with her and took her to the local emergency shelter. This wasn't ideal as she was picked on by some of the other residents which made her feel vulnerable and she ended up hiding to escape the constant shouting, swearing and banging.

"So then I was transferred to a refuge for women for domestic abuse. My god its beautiful. It’s such a beautiful house. I have never been in such a beautiful house. My worker is very helpful, and I can now relax and sleep and sort out my skin problem. I am not frightened I will be picked on by people where I am. I am so happy to go out when I want and to come back when I want. The mental health of others before I came here made it so unsafe for me before. It’s so relaxing here. I now feel I can get back on my feet, and all the stress made my skin condition before so now I start to feel better. It is so quiet. Here it is like a palace. Here it makes me feel more relaxed. I have now been able to apply for housing with Wiltshire Council for permanent housing."

"I have spent my lifetime looking after other people and would like to now have my time to care for myself. I am now in my late 50’s I have not had an easy life and would like to now be able to think about me. I have been good all my life, no criminal record, Ive always done things right and done my best. Mentally and physically, I was worn out and now I am finally having an opportunity to sleep and rest and put my life together."